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Who am I?

I’ve got to know who I am

and who I’m not.

I desire to be the full expression of what God intends for me to be.

The more I understand the uniqueness of who God made me to be—the more I’ll see the uniqueness in someone else–and the less I’ll want to be anyone else.

How God Typically Develops Us:

Ages 0 –20: We learn/build our foundations and character

Ages 20 –30: We develop our character; get glimpses of our calling; we need to be faithful in whatever God is having us do

Ages 30-40: God develops in us, our unique methodology, gifts, talents; our experiences are captured; our life’s purpose is developed

Ages 40 – 50: God puts us into our unique role (our character has been developed so that we can sustain it)

Ages 50 – 60:  We get in the flow of our major role

Age 60 and older:  Is the afterglow – we now invest in others

The most important work in your life isn’t to get married, fund your retirement, travel, or have lots of fun. The most important thing you can ever do is to fulfill God’s mission for your life. If you don’t, the Bible says your life is a waste.—Rick Warren

“The most important thing is that I complete my mission, the work that the Lord Jesus gave me — to tell people the Good News about God’s grace” —Acts 20:24 

I will never find fulfillment apart from who God made me to be.  I can’t find it trying to be like someone else.

God made a place for me (whether I’m good or bad) and there will never be anyone that can fill my place.

God did a good thing when He made me, and knowing that and my identity frees me to love those around me (for who they are or despite of who they are).

Discover your unique individuality

Aspects of how God created us:

  1. Natural talent
  2. Acquired skills
  3. Spiritual gifts
  4. Inward desires

Things to research in your journey to discovering your unique individuality. I have learned about each of these areas/traits in myself. Learning my uniqueness helped me to accept myself, love myself for who I am, and understand that despite my negative upbringing, God has always wanted good things for me. I encourage you to discover your uniqueness by looking at these areas.

  1. Study how your birth order affected your development. Birth order refers to the order a child is born in their family; first-born and second-born are examples. Birth order is often believed to have a profound and lasting effect on psychological development.
  2. Study how your family of origin affected your development and how you view yourself. Family of origin refers to the significant caretakers and siblings that a person grows up with, or the first social group a person belongs to, which is often a person’s biological family or an adoptive family.
  3. Learn about your personality. There are many personality test(s) that you can take and study. (Meyers Briggs) (Strengths Finder) (DISC) (Enneagram)
  4. Study spiritual giftings and learn which ones God has Blessed you with
  5. What does your name mean?
  6. Make a list of your giftings, talents, and natural abilities.
  7. What are your Love languages? The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. Acts of Service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love. Receiving Gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection. Quality Time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
  8. Comtemplate your woundings. Where are you most wounded?  Give this some time and thoughtful consideration. The area you are most wounded in, might be your area of expertise and your calling (you may be an expert on the subject).
  9. What do you believe is your own unique calling/destiny/purpose/direction/focus/dream?

God gives specific callings to specific people. That means God wants me for my particular calling and life. It means He has specific plans for you too.

Ephesians 2:10

Create your own missions statement to live by

A personal mission statement is a one-sentence statement of God’s unique assignment for you.

To begin, reflect on your life and ministry experiences and ask yourself questions such as

  • What am I most excited/passionate about?”
  • Along with that, do I feel a calling to a people-group, a nation, or a type of ministry, etc?
  • What am I really good at?
  • What am I naturally talented/gifted at?
  • What am I skilled/trained to do?
  • What does God bless when I do it?
  • What is really special or unique about me?
  • What do i find people coming to me for / looking to me for?
  • What am I doing that is not very productive?

Boil your answers down to two things: what is it that you feel called to BE more than anything else and what do you feel you’re to DO in order to be that person? Write your personal missions statement containing these two areas.  

Examples:

  1. Jesus’ came to earth to be “savior” to the world and his personal mission was “to seek and save the lost” (I John 4:14, Luke 19:10).
  2. Paul summarized his mission by claiming “I have become its [the church’s] minister … so that we may present everyone mature in Christ” (Col. 1:25, 28).
  3. God commanded Abraham to be a blessing to others because He Blessed him.  (Genesis 12:2, 3)
  4. To be an agent of hope, healing and wholeness to the poor and disenfranchised and particularly to men with deep emotional wounds by investing prayer, time and resources and by offering direction, counsel and friendship in order that they may be set free to be worshippers of God and to fulfill their intended destinies. —RE, Nashville

From now on, whenever an opportunity for involvement, service, or leadership presents itself—check to see if it’s in alignment with your personal missions statement. Try to keep the areas that you volunteer and serve within the area God has called you to.

The benefits of doing this are:

  • Your personal mission gives focus to your life, time, and ministry.
  • When you lead within the limits of your personal mission, your motives and attitude will usually be good. You will serve more easily and effectively.
  • Staying within your personal mission will give you a sense of security.
  • You know your efforts are pleasing God so you can relax. You no longer need to worry about pleasing people. You are no longer trying to do things that you are not good at. You have a sense of purpose and intentionality. You will be operating from a place of strength.
  • Operating within your own personal mission eliminates the need to perform, eliminates comparing yourself to what others are doing or accomplishing, and thus can alleviate jealousy and competition.

Guard the call of God on your life.  You will stand before the Lord and give an account of your life.

Dave Fitzpatrick

Talent vs. Destiny

Your talent is not your destiny.  Your destiny cannot be fulfilled on talent alone.

God is interested in your TALENT tempered by CHARACTER under His anointing with the VISION of your DESTINY.—Steven Mansfield

TALENT (skill) – capacity for skill or knowledge
CHARACTER – imprint of an image
ANOINTING – charisma – flow of power for a desired result “and the Spirit came in power”
VISION – the ability to see and live beyond your limitations.
DESTINY – idea that  God has predetermined (before we were born) roles, functions, tasks, works, purposes for our life Jer. 1:5, I Thess 3:3, Ephesians 4:10

God will not give me the power of my gift until trust is earned. It will come after I  make mistakes, learn, grow, experience, and am tested.

Often times, we do not find our calling, our calling finds us.
You may have been put in your position, the exact spot you are in now, for such a time as this.

His bandages are his identity.

Brennan Manning, Abba’s child

My experiences, my most wounded places were intended to be my strengths.

John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

I can’t under value the gifts that God gave me because they don’t look like everyone else’s gifts.

Resources for Further Study

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The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are—Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Leman’s classic bestseller offers key insights into how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children.

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The Power of a New Identity—Dan Sneed

If you struggle with issues from rejection, fear, guilt or shame, it is possible that the picture you currently have of yourself is not built on truth. You hear about being a new creature in Christ, but like most Christians you still operate in terms of your “old” self. As a result, your past suffering and failure actually dictate who you are and how you act. According to Dan Sneed, this is spiritual oppression and it can be broken. With fresh insight and powerful teaching, he will guide you into biblical truth about God’s picture of you! Don’t let a false self-image continue to defeat you. Learn which lies you have believed and follow these life-giving steps to freedom.

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Abba’s Child —Brennan Manning

Is an impostor robbing you of God’s love?
We’ve bought into the lie that we are worthy of God’s love only when our lives are going well. If our families are happy or our jobs are meaningful, life is a success. But when life begins to fall through the cracks and embarrassing sins threaten to reveal our less-than-perfect identity, we scramble to keep up a good front to present to the world―and to God. We hide until we can rearrange the mask of perfection. Sadly, it is then that we wonder why we lack intimate relationships and a passionate faith.

All this time God is calling us to take the mask off and come openly to Him. He longs for us to know in the depth of our beings that He loves us and accepts us as we are. When we are our true selves, we can finally claim our identity as God’s child―Abba’s child―and experience His pure pleasure in who we are. Brennan Manning encourages us to let go of the impostor lifestyle and freely accept our belovedness as a child of the heavenly Father. In Him there is life.

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Captivating—by John and Stasi Eldredge

Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child’s play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.

And yet?how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores, and errands, striving to be the women they “ought” to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christen women add to the pressure. “Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman.” The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.
But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live?the life she dreamed of as a little girl.
The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.
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Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts: A Personal Inventory MethodKenneth C. Kinghorn

Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts: A Personal Inventory Method is designed to help Christians identify the specific gifts God has given them. While no Christian possesses every gift of the Spirit, every Christian does have some of God’s wonderful gifts. And to be effective in ministry, Christians must find and use these gifts. This volume features an “inventory” of spiritual gifts designed to be taken either in a group or privately. This book will help clear up certain misconceptions about spiritual gifts and assist Christians in discovering the gifts God has within them.

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The Purpose Driven LifeRick Warren

You are not an accident. Even before the universe was created, God had you in mind, and he planned you for his purposes. These purposes will extend far beyond the few years you will spend on earth. You were made to last forever! Self-help books often suggest that you try to discover the meaning and purpose of your life by looking within yourself, but Rick Warren says that is the wrong place to start. You must begin with God, your Creator, and his reasons for creating you. You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense. This book will help you understand why you are alive and God’s amazing plan for you—both here and now, and for eternity. Rick Warren will guide you through a personal 40-day spiritual journey that will transform your answer to life’s most important question: What on earth am I here for? Knowing God’s purpose for creating you will reduce your stress, focus your energy, simplify your decisions, give meaning to your life, and, most importantly, prepare you for eternity. The Purpose Driven Life is a blueprint for Christian living in the 21st century—a lifestyle based on God’s eternal purposes, not cultural values. Using over 1,200 scriptural quotes and references, it challenges the conventional definitions of worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and evangelism. In the tradition of Oswald Chambers, Rick Warren offers distilled wisdom on the essence of what life is all about. This is a book of hope and challenge that you will read and re-read, and it will be a classic treasured by generations to come.

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Captivating Conference Four Day Event

What is Captivating?
Walk into any church in America, take a look around, and ask yourself this question:  What is a godly woman?  Don’t listen to what is said, listen to the lives of the women present.  What do we learn?  A godly woman is…tired.  For all she has been told to be is a good servant.  Hasn’t “you are here to serve” been the church’s message to women?  And what about her heart?

Set deep in the heart of every woman are three core desires.  Every woman longs for romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be the Beauty in the tale.  It is for such that we were made.

Join us for our four-day event as we journey together into the deep mysteries of our feminine souls in order to recapture our hearts.  Through teaching sessions, films, music, guided periods of reflection and journaling, worship and beauty, we’re inviting you to take the risk of coming alive as a woman—God’s captivating woman.